Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
