you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize