I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
