he thought i was a dude.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize