we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the condom got lost in my hair
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH