i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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