Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.