She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.