I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
BRING THE BAGELS
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
