i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
