Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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