i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
