But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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