It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
