i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
