sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
