with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
