Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
