They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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