Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit

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  (303): I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit http://tfl.nu/ynrr
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (1010)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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  (909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn
  Replies (14) Good night (4601) Bad night (616)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.

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  (508): currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/vzj2
  Replies (12) Good night (5491) Bad night (1003)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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  (239): I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high.. http://tfl.nu/0y5k
  Replies (19) Good night (5123) Bad night (1143)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.

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  (713): I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan. http://tfl.nu/gm7k
  Replies (11) Good night (1604) Bad night (4606)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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  (781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy
  Replies (7) Good night (866) Bad night (2300)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?

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  (504): Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag? http://tfl.nu/x8h9
  Replies (22) Good night (4662) Bad night (1128)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (810)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2379) Bad night (1069)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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  (401): Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/4j6y
  Replies (17) Good night (1422) Bad night (758)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (3088) Bad night (788)
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  (714): View more from California

  He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

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  (714): He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE. http://tfl.nu/67b2
  Replies (11) Good night (647) Bad night (1399)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player

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  (201): Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player http://tfl.nu/qjie
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (762)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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  (270): Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad. http://tfl.nu/hoxr
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (659)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

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  (414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (298)

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