Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

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  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (648)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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  (480): I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral. http://tfl.nu/j7go
  Replies (20) Good night (3889) Bad night (990)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.

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  (248): The first sip always goes straight to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/w086
  Replies (17) Good night (6063) Bad night (836)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.

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  (631): I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/88zi
  Replies (14) Good night (806) Bad night (2985)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

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  (206): He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom http://tfl.nu/tvji
  Replies (25) Good night (1549) Bad night (4415)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...

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  (603): I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me... http://tfl.nu/t4o6
  Replies (22) Good night (1326) Bad night (3958)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games

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  (613): I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games http://tfl.nu/74pd
  Replies (18) Good night (4301) Bad night (1369)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
  Replies (7) Good night (1600) Bad night (679)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened

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  (505): I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened http://tfl.nu/wwzi
  Replies (9) Good night (640) Bad night (1310)
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  (619): View more from California

  THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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  (619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry
  Replies (6) Good night (528) Bad night (922)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there

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  (612): Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there http://tfl.nu/59ui
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (485)
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  (310): View more from California

  He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.

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  (310): He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing. http://tfl.nu/4uvb
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (442)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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  (314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm
  Replies (0) Good night (636) Bad night (570)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (349)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.

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  (412): What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC. http://tfl.nu/n5ed
  Replies (13) Good night (571) Bad night (792)

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