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• (323): View more from California

  just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (925): View more from California

  So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.

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• (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.

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• (415): View more from California

  I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more

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• (516): View more from New York

  New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete

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• (415): View more from California

  I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.

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• (+46): View more from Sweden

  Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail

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