so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.