She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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