The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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