We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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