i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
