I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize