the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
