You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
