I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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