I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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