...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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