You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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