all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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