You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
