Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Green mimosas i think yes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
