Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
