you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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