If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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