I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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