I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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