don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
