Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
