Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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