do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drunk is not a location!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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