Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
