I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Randomize
