his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
