I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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