i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
two words: eviction party
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
