that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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