yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
