I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
