Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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