Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
