I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
