i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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