I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
