So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
