you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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