Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
