I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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