what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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