I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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