My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
